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Thursday, March 27th, 2008
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8:29 pm - an unsent letter to one of my co-workers
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i hear these things can be a little therapeutic, so i guess i'll give it a go.
Dear Anthony,
You are just sad. Every time we make eye contact, I am greeted with that godawful smirking smile of yours that I have come to loathe. No, you will not ever have sex with me, you are almost twice my fucking age, so stop flashing your walletful of money out where you think I will be able to see. I know that's all the money you have, anyway, since you don't even have a freaking bank account. The other guys have talked to me, and I know the only reason I was offered your sunday morning shift was because you were checking out my tits and ass and were probably hoping to score with me, I know this because it happened with alot of other young skinny female workers back in the summer, too. No, bitch, you are not going to be a male model, either. I have yet to see one person in all of the packaging department, male or female, who is model material. You are not going to be a movie star either, not even if you "know the director" because you are that fucking ugly.
So pretty please, with sugar on top, go cram a screwdriver up your nostril.
Sincerely, Alice
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Saturday, January 5th, 2008
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5:12 pm - new years meme
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1.What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done
before? got a permanent job.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will
you make more for next year? i don't make resolutions.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? no
4. Did anyone close to you die? yes
5. What countries did you visit? none
6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked
in 2007? $18,500.00
7. What date(s) from 2007 will remain etched upon your
memory, and why?
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? getting a job
9. What was your biggest failure? nothing, really
10. Did you suffer any illness or injury? just one bitch of a cold that i finally fought off a few days ago.
11. What was the best thing you bought? a civil war rifle
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? mom and emily talking again
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? nobody, really.
14. Where did most of your money go? into savings
15. What did you get really, really, really excited
about? christmas, just like every year
16. What song will always remind you of 2007? Though I have my favorites, I can't remember the names of any songs, ever, for the life of me. Probably the one that goes DOOSH do. do-dodo. do. do. BUM. BUM-BUM-BUM, BUM- fuck it.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a. happier or sadder? happier
b. thinner or fatter? a little fatter
c. richer or poorer? richer
18. What do you wish you'd done more of? money
19. What do you wish you'd done less of? anxiety
20. How will you be/did you spending Christmas? with
my family
22. Did you fall in love in 2007? nope
23. How many one-night stands? 0
24. What was your favorite TV program? naruto
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this
time last year? no
26. What was the best book you read? Diamonds Are Forever, by Ian Fleming
27. What was your greatest musical discovery? see no. 16
28. What did you want and get? $$$$
29. What did you want and not get? $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
30. What was your favorite film of this year? The Brave One
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were
you? I turned twenty, wanted to go to a shooting range but couldn't find any.
32. What one thing would have made your year
immeasurably more satisfying? Sexual Reassignment Surgery
33. How would you describe your personal fashion
concept in 2007? utilitarian
34. What kept you sane? the internets
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the
most? Mariska Hargitay
36. What political issue stirred you the most? the usual mideast bullshit. "holy land" my ass.
37. Who did you miss? barb and greg. good times.
38. Who was the best new person you met? Paul Kondon
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in
2007: just to LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: See no. 27
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Monday, December 17th, 2007
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2:22 am
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This was a tall tale short story I had to do for english back in high school. im posting this cuz... hey i guess why not.
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(comment on this)
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| Saturday, August 11th, 2007
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7:40 pm - !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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so dad fixed the pizza, and i got half way through one slice before realizing it had MEAT ON IT
RIOMCTWROASJ,RX.JAORPIYSOUIAPJWCJ984UI4W[P 48T9 W3V950M W754855V89 V478W5WVREJFWFEULJKME5RJVFIWEJ489FWJ884FJ84,QCWE4JI48RUCWLEUJLCQU4LEICQJLU48M4RU8QR44J4UMLFCRWCLCWEKQQRTU4W8RULUWO84U4RU8W4RL984LRQUILIC4U8CQ4WLLUMIRC8U4ROQWC4YCMQ84WREC87YUHYTI8HYR5YHW3O67YGTUWYT4QU8T94YTQO4U7ROT84R7YTU74YERO78TW354YTWURUJRHWE3YL97TFUWT34HYTGR4O87YTGRU7T74YH78TO4URT4RFGTHY4RU7TYH4TY7IWERHTJUGILOT7Y4OTEUWTHYOWYT4U74ETGFR4UTFUYTU4REYE4TY4ERTGHY4EW79RY74UITGF784R7GUHYTUWR487YHT4EUTFYG4RU7TY7RUTHGY7FUTGRYGHRU
barf
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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6:25 pm
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So my dad bought a pizza crust. and were gonna have pizza in a bit, if my mom regains conciousness.
in the meantime, I watched Akira for the second time. The first time was an acid trip with a soundtrack that made my ears bleed, but I gained a greater appreciation for it after finishing the manga, which is sooo much better. it should have been made into a miniseries, actually.
I bought a psp a month and a half ago, which was fun while it lasted. it kept breaking down and the jackass sales guy forgot to offer me a warranty so I couldnt return it. they wanted 90 freaking dollars for a replacement. so instead I placed the device under my car tire and floored it; the thing was trash anyway so i might was well make a spectacle of it. surprisingly, the psp didn't break apart, it just sort of compressed with a crunching noise.
I have enrolled in a few college courses for the fall, which is fast approaching. I'm going to try not to slack off so much anymore.
i think it would be interesting to find out just how many transformers fans are, in fact, virgins...
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, May 30th, 2007
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2:55 pm
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a little black birdie keeps doing a mating in front of my reflective hubcap. could he be the reincarnation of narcissus?
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(comment on this)
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| Saturday, May 19th, 2007
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6:00 pm
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St. Peter sees Jerry Falwell approaching the pearly gates and IMs Jesus.
P34lyG4t3Pete: ROFLAMAO you're never guess who I've got approaching right now
S4v10rpwns: OMG who???
P34lyG4t3Pete: Jerry Falwell.
S4v10rpwns: ZOMG *crucified *
S4v10rpwns: I gotta wake up Dad 4 this, brb
[G0DFTW has entered the chat]
G0DFTW: WTF?
P34lyG4t3Pete: I have Jerry Falwell approaching the pearly gates, sir.
G0DFTW: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA N00B
P34lyG4t3Pete: Do you want me to handle this or should I send him to you?
S4v10rpwns: Is to be bitchslapping time nau, plz?
P34lyG4t3Pete: omg srsly.
P34lyG4t3Pete: he's here and demanding entry into heaven.
G0DFTW: ORLY.
P34lyG4t35ftw: YA RLY.
S4v10rpwns: LOL cry more emo kid
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, May 8th, 2007
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5:33 pm - red cross bs
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Went to the red cross to donate blood today. Everything went fine, then they took me behind one of those portable wall thingies to ask questions about my medical history. Everything went fine until the lady asked me what I was taking Estradiol for. I leaned in closer so noone could evesdrop, then told her I was undergoing a sex change procedure.
She wasn't openly hostile to it or anything, but then she must have felt the sudden urge to ask me what was apparently an extremely important and relevant question about my medical history: "So do you have boy parts or girl parts?"
What the hell.
You don't ask a guy in a wheelchair how he pees, you dont ask a person born intersexual what their genitals look like, so who did this lady think she was?
Anyway, I politely said something to the effect of 'thats none of your business', and that was that.
But then, after i had finished giving blood, a different nurse called me back to ask a few more questions. Since they thought at first I was a born female, they had neglected to ask a few 'male only' questions, and they wanted to go over them with me. Fair enough, I thought, until a few questions in it happened again; "So do you still have your penis?"
Good GOD, people!
I again asked if that was even an appropriate question, the she acted all apologetically and said someone else told her to ask me that (yeah, right). Maybe I'm crazy, but I would think that people working in a MEDICAL FIELD would know better than to get rudely intrusive like this.
fuck
okay, i want to know something.
and somebody please just give me an honest answer.
why do people seem to find my genitalia so god damned fascinating? i really do want to know. why do complete strangers find it appropriate to ask such rude, irrelivant questions right to my face?!
god damn.
the Red Cross is definately going to get a phone call now.
current mood:  pissed off
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(comment on this)
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| Saturday, April 28th, 2007
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9:49 pm - whistkey-tango-foxtrot
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| Wednesday, April 25th, 2007
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5:15 pm
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if you think there are alot of minorities in africa, your a republicen.
if you think there are alot of african americans in africa, your a democrat.
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, April 7th, 2007
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2:57 pm
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| Wednesday, February 14th, 2007
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2:23 pm - i still aint dead
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i am going to a gay/lesbian lit class now (yay) and am reading April Sinclair's "Aint Gonna Be The Same Fool Twice". being in the seventies, and black, the characters talk all jive and shit its funny. but a couple of scenes make me VERY horny.
gobemouche, you might like it.
btw E, i still haven't been able to find your breyer horses but- can we take Hooger-Me-Dooger for a walk sometime? (NO, shes not dead yet.)
also,http://www.unf-unf.de/show1384.html
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, December 28th, 2006
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1:41 pm
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| Saturday, October 21st, 2006
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7:21 pm
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SHITFUCKINGSHITGODDAMNFUCKBITCHHELLASS
My cat probably ran away.
My parents are away for the week. when i left the house i stupidly locked the door BEFORE SHUTTING IT so the bolt kept it open. FOR TWO HOURS.
i hope she comes home or i'll be in a shitload of trouble...
edit: whew, she's okay. she just came back through the door i left cracked open.
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, October 11th, 2006
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6:48 pm
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"Next time when you cut someone off, it won't be so pretty, dickhead!"
She followed me all the way to campus just to say that?
Granted, I should not have done that. But jeez, road rage much?
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, September 26th, 2006
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6:21 pm
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If you don't finish this, ten orphans will die.
1.Your Middle Name:
2. Age:
3. Single or Taken:
4. Favorite Movie:
5. Favorite Song:
6. Favorite Band/Artist:
7. Dirty or Clean:
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:
HERE COMES THE FUN ... ... ...
1. Do we know each other outside of Live Journal?
2. Whats your philosophy on life?
3. Would you have my back in a fight?
4. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
5. What is your favorite memory of us?
6. Would you give me a kidney?
7. Tell me one odd/intresting fact about you:
8. Would you take care of me when I'm sick?
9. Can we get together and make a cake?
10. Have you heard any rumors of me lately?
11. Do you/have you talk(ed) crap about me?
12. Do you think I'm a good person?
13. Would you drive across country with me?
14. Do you think I'm attractive?
15. If you could change anything about me, would you?
16. What do you wear to sleep?
17. Would you come over for no reason just to hang out?
18. Would you go on a date with me if i asked you?
19. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together?
20. Will you post this so I can fill it out for you?
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, September 19th, 2006
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6:07 pm
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so ive been on hormones for about three months now and ZOMG IM SPROUTING BOOBIES
now what the hell am i going do do with these pads, and how would i explain the sudden chest - shrinkage???
edit- "update captian's log" wtf?
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, September 18th, 2006
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4:51 pm
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so i had to get up to pee in english class.
teacher said to me i have to be there "the whole time" or i will be marked absent.
wtf? its not like im fucking around in the library.
suppose nature calls four times in class the entire year, then i'll be screwed because i would lose credit.
what a fucking nazi!
i guess i should just plug up my urethra then
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(6 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, July 23rd, 2006
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3:35 am - those shoes are mine, betch
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3:28 am - im not dead
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despite my valiant efforts, sleep eludes me. thus, I am compelled to update. so, in eight months I...
-graduated from high school
-caused a fender bender
-got accepted into a temp agency
-made a transgendered girlfriend (mtf)
-lost my virginity
-broke up with said girlfriend
-started on estrogen (yay!)
not in that order.
current mood:  sleepy
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(comment on this)
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